- "So, I'm Ted, the sickly loser. I'm dying and my wife dumps me. I build a better Ted. He brings her back, holds her hostage in his bunker o' love until she dies. And then he keeps bringing her back, over and over. Now, now that's creepy on a level I hardly knew existed."
- ―Xander Harris[src]
The original Ted Buchanan was a sickly and unsuccessful inventor in the 1950s whose wife left him. In desperation, he built a robot duplicate of himself, "a better Ted", possibly to be the man he thought his wife should have. The robot then kidnapped Ted's wife and held her captive in his bunker until she died, subsequently continuing the cycle long after the original Ted's death.
- "Ted" (Only mentioned)